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Why Moms Need Other Moms
Before my first child was born, I asked another mother what advice she would give an expectant one. She told me, “Don’t try to be perfect, you’ll make yourself crazy. Being a mom is the hardest job you will ever try to do right”. I didn’t quite understand her words then, but two children later, I certainly do now. Being a mom is tough, but also more rewarding than I ever could have imagined.
I was a professional for ten years before I decided to have children after my first was born I was fortunate enough to be able to stay home with her. Three years later, another baby arrived, and I have been home for nearly ten years now.
One of the hardest transitions for me into motherhood was leaving the office environment and entering in the realm of stay at home parenthood. Losing the day-to-day interactions with co-workers, and the outside world, I suddenly felt very isolated and alone with a newborn who was demanding, did not sleep, and a husband who did not want to hear about: how many times the baby spit up on me, exhausted I was, or how I got nothing done all day, after he returned home from work.
Thankfully, I learned of a mommy and me meet-up group and quickly joined. There I met other moms who had newborns about the same age as my daughter. We would meet up, and push our strollers through the local mall for an hour a couple of times a week, interacting, socializing, getting to know each other. Ultimately several of us became friends. I looked forward to these meet-up days because they provided me with the socialization I missed and needed.
Over time, those stroller walks became play dates. Our children were getting bigger, didn’t want to ride in strollers, and thankfully they mostly got along, so that made things easy. We all enrolled in preschool the same year, and then our babies went to kindergarten. Somewhere along the way, we all made changes in our lives; we welcomed new babies, a few returned to work. And while we do not see each other as much as we did in those early weeks and years of our children’s lives we are still ever present, there for each other, supporting one another through this great journey of motherhood.
Moms need each other. We need to know that we are not alone in this parenting journey. Motherhood is messy; it is scary, it is frustrating, it is also incredibly joyful. Moms need to be able to talk and share with someone who understands, someone who has gone through similar experiences and doesn’t remember it with rose-colored glasses the way our mothers might. Who isn’t going to say “enjoy it while it lasts,” or ” they are only little for so long.”
Mothers’ need one another because only other mothers understand why we are frustrated and running on nothing but coffee; because who has time to eat when you are chasing toddlers, toting kids off to school and haven’t had a full night’s sleep since you cannot remember when?
Moms have an incredible ability to support one another, and unfortunately, too often moms tear each other down, making judgments, silently or loudly criticizing another mother for their choices. We must support one another; we are only trying to do the hardest job ever right?